Make Your Senior Marriage Better

By Michael Blair, Marriage and Family Counselor.

Many people are surprised to learn that seniors come in for marriage counseling…as if they should have it all figured out by then. Well, the truth is over the years I have worked with many seniors to help work out unfinished business like the empty nest syndrome and "retirement-itis" and many other issues. And remarkably there are often issues that have never been addressed over a lifetime of busy homemaking that now cry to be addressed and resolved.

One of my favorite cases happened recently when a deeply religious and very mature young 70 plus married gal traveled in from out of town to attempt to create a happy grand finale to a very long marriage which was now missing some things for her. She just wanted to have her longstanding companion pay attention to her now that she was available and now that presumably he had the retirement time. She tried to just learn to value him and find ways to be ok with his total attention to projects other than her, but just kept on coming up empty and lonely. Finally, during a sickly hospital stay I felt inspired to go visit her and her husband and decided to reiterate the need with the two of them present.

Finally, after several previous attempts to get through the fog, he got the picture and changed his reality…the miracle happened. It really did become the grand finale because he died just a few months later.
At the funeral we were all so grateful that a little strategic marriage counseling brought this great couple together in a wonderful very fulfilling way before he abruptly left the planet. This is part of why I love to do marriage counseling and I hope others of you will take the big step and come talk a time or two and create the best possible deal in your marriage relationships rather than allowing the golden years to whither and waste away in dissatisfaction. Research shows that the years after the children are gone are often the very most choice and satisfying marriage years. If that is not the case for you, please come and let’s have some great times putting the puzzle together and lighting smiles to last through a wonderful grand finale.